About
My story.....
I didn’t come to the counseling profession, by way of an interest in psychology or an interest in the helping professions. Now, I have always loved service and helping people, but those weren’t my initial drivers when choosing a career. I didn’t have experience going to a counselor when I was younger, save a few family therapy sessions after my parents divorced. Those sessions were enough for me to run away from the profession entirely! I was never encouraged to visit a counselor or seek out therapy when I was going through a tough time. Although some of my family members went, my problems weren’t glaring enough to warrant therapy. I wasn’t disruptive or disobedient. I was mostly a rule follower and a “good kid.” An anxiety-ridden perfectionist in the making!
Like many Christians who were raised in church, I was taught that if I had a problem, I could talk to Jesus. My parents didn’t seem like safe people to talk to, the church members didn’t seem like safe people to talk to, I shared all of my business with my sister and my friends. I was, however, the voice of reason in most circles. I had a natural ability to be empathic, diplomatic, and wise. I even asked God for wisdom when I was about 11 years old. I was getting Cs on my report card, and I felt like a failure. So I prayed for wisdom, and have been living by it ever since.
I actually came to the profession through a dream. Yes, this very successful therapist, who has helped hundreds of people, came to the world of mental health after I had been working in retail post graduation for five years. I started pursuing ministry right after undergrad, but knew that I wasn’t called to be a Pastor. I loved retail, but what I once thought was an avenue to fashion merchandising, becoming a buyer, or my own personal styling firm became a dead end. On a work trip, to work at another store in Charlotte, I had a talk with God. ”God, I’m going to Charlotte. I will be here for a week. I will be in prayer every day. By the time I leave, I need to know what I am going to be doing for a career, because what I have right now, ain’t it. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”
The last night there, I had a dream. I won’t go into detail, but the message of the dream said, “be a counselor.” I did some research and replied, “That’s perfect!” That next year I enrolled into the Counselor Education Program at NCSU. I worked in community mental health for seven years while building my practice. It took all of those seven challenging years to reach a livable wage with my practice. The following year, my business partner and I linked up and together founded Congruence Counseling Group in Carrboro, NC. One thing I do know about my profession as a counselor: I am completely in my element. I couldn’t have dreamed better for myself if I tried.
A little bit about my life….....
Those seven years that I spent growing my practice, I also spent growing in stuckness and stagnation in all other areas of my life. I was working, I was doing work in the ministry but emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I was wasting away day by day. I didn’t know this while I was in the throws, until I went through my second major depressive episode in December of 2017. That was a rough one. I started going to therapy which of course was helpful. It helped me to put language to my experience and really call a spade a spade.
I had run from therapy for so many years, because while I was helping everyone else, I didn’t actually want to face my own mess and create change. I was in a painful place, but it was comfortable. I didn’t want to ruffle feathers, upset the ecosystem, and stand in my truth. I did tell God, if you don’t fix this, I’m giving up on my private practice and moving back to Tappahannock, and I was serious. Well, God heard me. In 2018 I got out of depression and had my most successful year in solo practice. The tide was turning.
At the end of 2018, my business partner and I started having talks about building a group practice. I had worked tirelessly to build a solo practice and a group practice seemed like the next best thing. We agreed to go into business together. Although this is what I consciously wanted and believed that it was the right move forward. Anxiety began to manifest deeply and revealed that my subconscious brain held many faulty belief systems that were about to wreck my world. I began having panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I would be sitting there watching t.v. and dread would wash over me. My heart would start racing, my chest would tighten, and I couldn’t breathe deep enough to get oxygen in. Sometimes I would begin to cry inconsolably for no reason. My conscious and my subconscious were singing two different songs. And my subconscious thoughts were beginning to create real stress in my body, beyond anxiety and panic.
Fast forward to 2020. After 9 months or so, suspended in fight or flight, my digestive system went haywire. A couple of trips to the doctor, then a visit to a GI specialist and I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I will spare you the details, but let me just say, an inflammatory bowel disease is NOT what you want. EVER. Of course, the doctors said there was no cure and that I would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. Of course, they said that diet and stress had little or nothing to do with it. But I begged to differ. I changed my diet to one that promoted healing, and I started on a different type of spiritual journey to understand the role that I played in the formation of this disease in my body.
…and in all your getting get understanding..Proverb 4:7
In 2020, I sped up and slowed down all at the same time. Shortly after the diagnosis, I met a very handsome guy and started dating. Three months later, I married said handsome guy. Two and a half months later, I ended up in the hospital due to complications from the Ulcerative Colitis. I was sick sick, lost 20 ish pounds in a month, stopped eating for two weeks. And doctors were talking about taking my colon, uhhhh no thank you, I like her, her name is CiCi. She is mine, and I am keeping her. I still have her, in case you were wondering.
My life just wasn’t adding up, I had a new business, a new husband, and a completely new life. Of course I was going to therapy, weekly. I did the reframing. I did the deep breathing. I did the praying. I did the yoga nedra. I did the acupuncture. But that doggone subconscious brain was running my life, and it was spinning a narrative that continued to produce stress, anxiety, and dis-ease. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I was still sinking. Over the next two years, I committed myself to heart, mind, and spirit work. I felt like there were more setbacks than come ups with my mental and physical health, including depression, more anxiety attacks, and even a bout with psoriasis. Ya’ll I was giving Cheeta Girl, literally. There is a story, but we ain’t got the time right now.
Fast forward
2022, harmony. I am in divine alignment with myself, with my environment, with God. Lessons that I needed to learn on my healed journey include: non-resistance, the eternal goodness of God power, how to not idolize that which I fear, my own eternal power, tapping into the limitless supply, the immeasurable value of joy and happiness.
This is my why. This is why I am offering mindset coaching and Christian coaching in addition to clinical mental health counseling. With the right tools and techniques, you can heal. I did, now let me help you!
Values
Non-judgement: In the spirit of mindfulness, I value practicing non-judgment of thoughts and feelings. This means not categorizing them as good nor bad, but accepting them as they are. When there is acceptance, one can begin to work toward effective change.
- Truth & Authenticity: As a recovering perfectionist, I spend many years living outside of my truth. I lived according to the perceptions and expectations of others. I value and advocate for living in one’s truth with honesty and authenticity to their highest selves.
- Service: It is a privilege for me to serve the world with my talents and gifts. I will provide the best quality of service that I am capable of with integrity. I value my business, my time, and the clients that I have the privilege of serving.
Services
I offer professional help in a variety of settings
Counseling
